SOUTH EUCLID, Ohio -- Glow, the Botanical Gardens’ popular traditions, is themed on “home” this year. If you are unfamiliar with this holiday happening in the University Circle area, it features creatively decorated trees and holiday tables and other invention decorations, some active fun for the kids, and more to ponder.
If it’s been a while since you went on vacation: Where else can you walk among birds and plants in their native habitat in “the glass house” -- with a domed, glass roof that ascends almost into the heavens in my imagination -- and even watch butterflies at play? I saw two of the tiniest finches, miracles really, and some big fluffy birds (not their official name) plus the ever-present doves. Lovely, inspiring, comforting.
A home should evoke the same feeling: Sadly, that is not always the case. But the 2021 theme “Holiday Hollows” can remind us of the potential of home as a place for comfort, solace, and safety. The website reads: “From our cozy four wall abodes to animal habitats, celebrate home and hearth with us with hundreds of creative gingerbread houses, decorated trees, a children’s indoor winter wonderland play area, festive crafts, holiday shopping, a ride on the Garden Express train and more!”
Affiliated clubs in our area include the Gates Mills Garden Club, the Highland Heights Garden Club, the Lyndhurst Garden Club, the South Euclid Garden Club and the Mayfield Village Garden Club. See more at:
https://holdenfg.org/about/affiliated-garden-clubs/
Several of the clubs had projects on display -- all impressive.
Budding relationships. The South Euclid Lyndhurst Schools are grateful for community partners who support students and staff through donations and sponsorships. As part of the district’s Reopening, Recovery, Revitalizing Our Schools (RRR) plan, Rowland Elementary brainstormed opportunities to reconnect the school with local community groups. The result was a successful mask donation drive held from November 1 – 12. Through the generosity of Mayfield Church, which has a long-standing partnership with Rowland, and local daycare, Shining Star, Rowland Elementary obtained over 4,000 disposable and handmade masks for adult and student use.
Cultivating teamwork. If you read the column last week -- or even just skimmed the headline, you caught a glimpse of my canine companion, Robin. She earns her keep with an occasional shout out. I’ve written about her at Inside Higher Ed and also Christian Science Monitor. Why should local readers be left out? When we brought her home from Cuyahoga Valley Animal Shelter in summer 2009, shellshocked from life at the pound and roaming the streets of Cleveland before that, Robin nonetheless quickly assumed her position mathematically equidistant from each and every member from our small pack at home. She was ready to reciprocate, play, run, inquire, work -- whatever might transpire. This “team player” position was an amazing feat from my perspective. She could tabulate “exact middle” from where Don, Andrew, and I were in the house. Often, we were not in the same room, even the same floor. She could therefore reach any one of us at a moment’s notice. As my late mother-in-law Lena (Rosalia) Stewart would have put it:
“No partiality.”
This was a mantra that my mother-in-law repeated often. It was her mission to treat her sons fairly, not favoring one over the other. And as she loved Robin, too -- despite her lifelong fear of dogs -- she would not mind my borrowing the phrase here, I think.
The cynical minded reader might counter: “Oh, that’s nothing special. Your dog just knew you each held the power of snacks.”
I beg (no pun intended) to differ. Robin was ready to serve at a moment’s notice. She was adding a point of balance and through her presence showing just how loyal a team player she could be.
And writer and meditator Mary Rose O’Reilley takes it one step further:
“When I am calm, riding the current of breath, the dogs pick up on it, and when they are at peace, I let their rest quiet me” (“Hush, Puppy,” an article that appeared in Lion’s Roar, 11 May 2018).
In each family, it is ideal for there to be a point of balance, of mutual understanding, an unshakeable core value. Same holds for teams and the workplace. And maybe gratitude is a form of glue that keeps such a group supple yet connected.
But in the world outside the lined page or screen of a writer -- the messy, inexact world we inhabit -- groups often lack a center of gravity. Family members scatter with centripetal force, not to overdo the physics metaphor, as soon as they are able. Workers “check out.” Those who “fit in” may possess precisely the same characteristics that would get them banished elsewhere. Sadly, estrangement or isolation feeds some of the aberrant, antisocial impulses that can make gang life and crime seem a natural choice.
The wind, representing adversity, can toss a mobile of even the most delicate crystal, but rarely knocks it down.
Cohesive families blend cooperation, love, joy...togetherness and freedom. And very importantly, an appreciation of the individual with a sense of “us.” Tolstoy offered at the start of the novel Anna Karenina the resonant sentiment:: “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
Just as a clumsy step on broken pavement can lead to a fracture that requires months to heal, a broken heart or a clumsy word can leave deep gashes in the soul of a family. And in the case of estrangement, a phenomenon that seems to be growing worldwide, the next generation splits off “Why Parents and Kids Get Estranged” by Joshua Coleman, article in the Atlantic Monthly and available online. https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/01/why-parents-and-kids-get-estranged/617612/
People can silently nurse grudges for years. Siblings that live a few blocks apart don’t speak. An adult male has cut himself off from a family that never respected him; not only an ocean separates them, but feelings that will never flow freely. An adult daughter living upstairs won’t speak to an aging mom living downstairs. Two adult children won’t speak to their dad after the divorce. That aunt and niece never spoke, and both are now deceased: two people arguing over who was supposed to bring potato salad to the picnic.
It’s not unusual to ask why we cannot have peace on earth, why wars cannot end, why people cannot learn to live together in equilibrium. Yes, there are land disputes. Multi-generation trauma and abuse. Aggression. Greed. And closer to home, we also fight, resign ourselves, retreat. Or, if we are lucky, enjoy a sense of solace.
On Thanksgiving, on beyond, I hope you are not feeling alone and you can connect with even one family member with mutual respect.
And thank you, readers, for your support, for which I’m sincerely grateful.
Don’t keep me in the dark. Let Hillcrest messages flow. Write to mariashinestewart@gmail
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November 22, 2021 at 11:12PM
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