X Factor star Janet Devlin has opened up on her alcohol addiction, and how it left her feeling suicidal, in an emotional video to her fans.
The 25-year-old appeared on the singing competition back in 2011 where she finished in fifth place.
And now, ahead of releasing her new single Away With The Faries, the singer decided to get candid about her sobriety, and how she turned to Alcoholics Anonymous for help.
‘I had this voice in my head and I would over analyse – it would get to the point where I’d be having panic attacks and crying,’ she told her fans: ‘On the X Factor I spent most of my time in bathrooms crying my eyes out as I was a useless person.
‘But booze gave me so much, it was like this magical juice that allowed me to come out of my shell and lose my inhabitations and dance.’
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The I See Fire hitmaker started to tear up as she said ‘self-hatred and lack of self-belief’ made her turn to drink, as well as feeling lonely when she moved to Sheffield.
‘I would drink big bottles of gin and top up in the morning before turning up to the studio in a mess,’ she continued.
‘It got to the point where I would go missing for a few days at a time, I would go AWOL and everyone was worried.’
The star added: ‘I dreamt about [suicide] but I didn’t do it, I tried a few times. I almost died a few times. It was not good, it was not pretty, people had to come and get me a lot and get me sober.
‘If I didn’t have music to get out of bed for, or getting to make a YouTube video, I don’t know where I’d be.’
However, things started to pick up for Janet, and at the age of 20, she became sober.
‘I went to AA – someone slipped me a card one day and gave me a schedule for local AA meetings,’ she smiled. ‘I did 90 meetings in 90 days, I made friends, I became a person again, I learned how to do things sober, which was so scary for the first year.’
Reaching out to viewers, the Wonderful songstress said: ‘I want you to know there is hope, life gets so much better, that you’re amazing, you’re loved and you’re not in the position to see that now but someday you will and don’t take that away from yourself.
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‘If I had died, I wouldn’t be where I am today and go, “what a blessing it is to watch a video of golden retrievers and cry because it’s so pure,” I wouldn’t have been able to be happy.’
If you have been affected by anything in Janet’s video, you can find help at Alcoholics Anonymous.
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X Factor's Janet Devlin says alcohol addiction left her suicidal - Metro.co.uk
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